Stories Behind the Music

The Title
"The Sacred Romance" is a title rife with meaning. Allow me to explain: In Fall of 2003 I was privileged to help start a youth group at a parish in Steubenville, where I’m currently a student at Franciscan University. This Middle School Life Teen youth group really took off and was tremendously rewarding to me, as well as to the youth and to the other core team members. I myself was in charge of the eighth-grade boys, being their small-group leader, so I was able to get to know and to minister to them. One of the youths in my small group was a good fellow by the name of Todd Calloway. He was a very enthusiastic participant in everything we did; you could see that he truly cherished the Church and his relationship with Christ. He always seemed to be hungry for the Gospel. In February of the next year, we went to one of our usual Thursday night youth group meetings. However, the usual rambunctious-ness of thirty middle schoolers was subdued when our youth group leader, Von Holmes, announced that she had just found out that Todd had been diagnosed with leukemia. I had known a couple of people with leukemia who had recovered after a long, grueling battle, so I had hope that Todd would recover from the disease. The next day I went on our Pre-Theologate silent retreat as planned, and I offered up the retreat for the healing of Todd. While in prayer on the retreat, I could clearly hear the Lord saying to me, "I Am the Good Shepherd, and I know my sheep." This word brought comfort to me, and I looked it up in Scripture to read the passage, in John 10. However, as I continued to read scripture, I discovered that the very next chapter was about the death of Lazarus. The one line that jumped out at me was when Jesus said to Martha that Lazarus would rise again, and Martha responded, "I know that he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day." To which Jesus responded, "I Am the Resurrection and the Life". (John 11:24-25). At this moment I knew that Todd would not recover but that his death would be for the glory of God. When I got home, I immediately called Von Holmes and my suspicions were confirmed: Todd had indeed died early on Sunday morning. Yet she also told me some things that I didn’t know: Todd was preparing to enter the Church on Easter Vigil. In fact, he hadn’t even been baptized. Luckily, three days before he died, the local parish priest had baptized him and given him the Anointing of the Sick before he died. I was humbled to know that I had been preparing a soul for Heaven, through the youth group, but I was even more awed to think that such a pure soul, just baptized days before his death, is now in Heaven interceding for us. When I got off the phone, I felt the need to write a song about the beauty of a soul finally at rest in union with God. So I penned "The Sacred Romance" (which didn’t make it onto the album), about how a soul is now united to the Divine Lover. In a deeper way the title "The Sacred Romance" has a meaning for us all. This is how intimate the Lord wants to be with our soul: as a bride desires her husband, so does the Lord desire to be close to us. This beautiful truth is something we should stand in awe before: the Lord of all creation, our Creator, the God of infinite majesty and power and utterly unimaginable holiness, intimately loves His frail, weak, sinful creatures. This is awesome, in the truest sense of the word. Also, though, the title "The Sacred Romance" deals with my vocation. Often I am asked, "Why do you want to become a priest?" I suppose the simplest explanation is that I have fallen in love with God, so much so that I don’t want anything to come between us. As many men give their lives to their spouses, I desire only to give my life to my God. And so that’s why "The Sacred Romance" is the title of this album. This album is dedicated to Todd Callaway, and also to Sister Maria Joseph, OP, a good friend of mine, who, during the recording of this album, wedded herself to the Lord for all eternity.

You Overwhelm Me
Thank God for slow Internet connections! I was waiting for the Internet to load on a 28-kbps modem (extremely slow) when I got bored and picked up my guitar while waiting for the pages to load. This is the song that came out. It’s about our insecurities in how people see us, when we should really be concerned with how the Lord sees us.

Jesus, My Lord, My God, My All!
This was a classic, albeit boring, hymn. I’ve always liked the words, but the music put me to sleep. So I decided to rewrite the music to make it a little more edgy. This is the oldest song on the album, written in January 2002.

So I Let Go
There isn’t much to say about this song. The interlude is actually from a different song that I had written, cut-and-pasted into this song because it fit so well.

Behold This Heart
I’ve always loved the image of the Sacred Heart of Jesus. To think of a Heart wounded by sin, and yet still burning with love for us, is very humbling. This I wrote on piano with all kinds of unusual chords, so it’s impossible to play on guitar.

Wisdom
In case you’re looking for the book of Wisdom and can’t find it in your bible, the book of Wisdom is a Deutero-Canonical, which means that it wasn’t in the Jewish canon but the early Christians accepted it as inspired. Today, all Catholic bibles accept the book as canonical, while most Protestant ones either don’t accept it, or include it in a special Deutero-Canonical section, along with Maccabees and Tobit and Esther and a few other books. I’ve always been fascinated by the Holy Spirit, mainly because He’s so mysterious and intangible (you’ve got to admit, there’s not much known about the Holy Spirit, compared to the Father or the Son). This song is an expression of my fascination with the Holy Spirit. Some consider Wisdom to be referring to Christ in the Old Testament, but this song (and most of the Wisdom literature) makes more sense if we see Wisdom referring to the Holy Spirit. Both interpretations are considered acceptable by most biblical scholars (including the one who taught me). Anyway, this is my favorite passage in Wisdom, 9:1-11. It’s a nice prayer for anyone who needs wisdom (like me!).

Living Stones
For the past three years I’ve been a member of the Living Stones Household at Franciscan University of Steubenville. For those not familiar with households, they’re kind of like Christian fraternities. The Living Stones Household is particular in that it’s specifically for men discerning the priesthood, but there are other households dedicated to Scripture, the Cross, Christian service, etc. Anyway, this song comes from the quote on the back of our Living Stones tee-shirts (1 Peter 2). Thanks to my best friend, Pat Whittle, for helping me with the lyrics. It’s our household theme song!

Go In Peace
This song I wrote after I restrung my guitar for the first time. I thought a newly-strung guitar was the coolest thing ever! It’s a song about the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass. And please note, by my use of the Latin in the song, I do NOT mean to imply that we should go back to the Tridentine Rite Mass. I love the Novus Ordo Mass when reverently celebrated.

Rise Upon Eagle’s Wings
Just a fun little song I wrote about the frustrations of daily life.

Healer
So many people in this life are searching for happiness in all the wrong places. You can see it in their eyes: a look of restlessness, emptiness. Even if they don’t know it, even if they deny it, there is a longing in the human heart for fulfillment and happiness that can only be found in God. This is the newest song on the album, written in May 2004.

The Music of Christ
I tell ya, silent retreats are the best places to write music! I wrote this one on our Baltimore seminarians retreat, in the midst of silence. I was reading a great biography of St. John Vianney (patron saint of parish priests) when I came up with this song. The song is based on a quote I once heard (I forget the source): "The difference between the Gospel and the lives of the saints is like the difference between music written and music sung."

Realms of Endless Light I first conceived the idea for this song in August of '03. I went out to my deck out back with my guitar and started playing a tune, but no words were coming to me. So I asked my sister Cathy for help, and we wrote the first verse and refrain right there. After I went back to college in Ohio I wrote the second verse, but still something was missing. Finally I was praying before the Blessed Sacrament and in a burst of inspiration, both the words and the music to the bridge came to me (at the same time, which is a rarety). I left the chapel immediately and wrote it down. It is an impossible task to try to capture the grandeur and the majesty and the wonder of God. He far surpasses even our greatest dreams and visions. All is but straw compared to Who He Is.

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